Running a small business is no easy task. It's messy and thrilling and terrifying all at the same time. But no matter what, it's definitely a journey worth taking. As a mom of two littles, I know the daily struggles, and I'm here to walk this journey with you. If you're ready to feel empowered, encouraged and on fire for the things you truly love, then you're in the right place. I'm Rebecca Rice, a pizza loving hot chocolate drinking family photographer and educator. And this is the business Journey podcast.
Hey guys, welcome back to another episode of the business Journey podcast. I'm your host, Rebecca rice. And I teach family photographers to gain A life of financial freedom through a thriving photography business. Today, I'm super excited because we have a guest on our podcast. She is a friend of a friend we've like met through the grapevine. And I'm just really excited for all that she has to say we're talking about a topic that has really been a topic of conversation between like me and my husband for really the last like year, year and a half. And so I'm excited to hear what she has to say. And I know it's going to be beneficial to you guys. So we are excited to welcome Ashley sprigs of pivot media here with us. Hi, Ashley, how are you?
Hi, good morning. It is morning for us. I don't know. I'm good. I have a cup of coffee. And so I'm a happier person No.
Love it. Well, for those that may not be familiar with who you are and what you do, can you give like a quick little, you know, synopsis of what you guys do?
Yeah, for sure. So I am a wife and a mom to three busy, tiny toddlers, the ages range five and down. And I also am the owner of pivot media, which is a media agency that offers services and public relations, podcast management and digital marketing. We offer all of those services to help online content creators essentially just get their message out there to the right audiences through PR through helping manage their podcasts and getting that monetized and stretching that reach. And then through digital marketing, helping them like do content creation and social media and copy and all that fun stuff. So yeah, that's a bit of what I do. I'm located in Phoenix, which I know you've been out here a few times to do photos and stuff. So it's hot. It's the desert. And it's great.
It's hot. Yes, for sure. Very hot. Awesome. Well, I'm excited to talk about family rhythms. I know that you know for you as a wife and a mom and a business owner that that family rhythms are vital to surviving and not just that but really thriving in the life that we have. And you know the the freedom and flexibility of owning our own business. It comes with I feel like its own unique challenges of finding rhythms that work for our family, individually because everybody's different. So talk to me a little bit about family rhythms in general, what's the difference between a rhythm and a routine? Like I feel like the verbiage that we use is really important I'm always one to be pretty like specific that we don't have routines as family we have rhythms and we have our reasons for that. But I'd love to hear like your you know your ago about it of what what it is why it's important things like that.
Yeah, for sure. I agree with you. We don't have routines I truly like hate the word routine. Because it routine, like just boxes you in and it forces you to be organized and on time and routines are like okay, by 9am. I'm sitting at my desk every day. And by 10am I'm done with my emails. And by 11 o'clock I've now met with two clients like it literally just boxes you into a time restraint. And when you are a mompreneur, you know that time cannot be boxed in. You cannot control how long a morning takes to get the kids settled. You can't control that time's going well, and not going well. Like I wish I had the magic dust that just makes my kids just nap on time, but it's not possible. And so for us, we're the same way rhythm is something that is loose and flexible and just says okay, this is the general flow that we would like the day to look like. And as far as the times go, it happens when it happens. And so it allows you to really feel into your day versus just wake up and feel like you have a structure that you have to stick to. I mean, obviously there are meetings you have to take and those are times but honestly that's the only time thing on our calendars. We are stepping into homeschooling as well this year and that is one of the biggest reasons this conversation has recirculated in our family this like this whole last like season is okay if we're going to be homeschooling this means that we would like to try to stick to schooling in the morning. But that's not always necessary and it's not always necessary to homeschooling. We can do it at night after dinner before they go to bed. And just staying flexible with that. It gives you movement. It lets you feel into it. It lets your family have space to have feelings to because again routines like boxy and like if you're having a really sad day, okay, we wake up sometimes and it's hard to get out of bed. And if you're having one of those days that allows you to take time and do what you need to do to get yourself into a better headspace to complete work. If you show up to work in a rough like mentality, you're not going to be as productive, you're not going to be just as there and I was present. And so again, rhythms just allow for that flexibility for you to do what you need to do. And feel into what you need to feel into for your day to feel good for you and your family.
Yes, I love that. I think of it because I was like a choir kid all through like school. So when I hear like rhythms to me, it it allows for like the sometimes you speed up, sometimes you slow down but you stick to the general like basis of the piece. And so that's how I kind of think about it in our family. Sometimes we have crazy seasons, sometimes we have slower seasons, you know, and even throughout our day, sometimes like you just you don't know like you're saying naptime. I felt that to a tee because our nap times sometimes they go down super easy. And sometimes they need like 20 drinks of water and but I want to sleep in sissies bed, but I need this lovey, and it's like oh my gosh. So it can be you know, I like the idea of having the flexibility to just go with our families needs at that time. And we're actually stepping into homeschooling too. So this season, my daughter is five, so she's starting kindergarten this year. And we're at a hybrid homeschool. So three days a week, they're going to be at a school and the rest of the time they're at home. But it leaves for flexibility with if we want to travel, we just go and because it's under a homeschool umbrella. So they don't have like, attendance days and whatever. It's It's so beautiful. So that's another thing we're navigating is like, okay, but we also have like work we have to do and where do we fit that in with making sure that they don't fall behind and all the things. So it's an exciting season?
I certainly feel that. Yeah, for sure. And I totally feel that because that was one of the biggest decisions or reasons we made the decision to homeschool is because we originally had our five year old as well, Liam, he's going into Kinder too. We had him in school, and they start here in Arizona, they do year round programs. And so his school started the last week of July, which is insane. It's like incredibly early. Like that's when vacation prime is. And so for us, we are also heading out on an eight week road trip around the country this year, this weekend, or this summer, and we live this weekend. And we were not planning to back until the end of August. And I'm like he's gonna miss the first four weeks of school, which is heartbreaking when they have like an attendance marker they have to make and then you feel like your kids walking in four weeks behind already, like on a tenant's probation, if you will, like not really a term they use anymore, but like that's Yes. And you just feel like you're having to play catch up already. Or you're having to rush your trip back. And so I totally feel that. And if it's rhythms weren't like the way that we went, we would have been like, Okay, well, we have to back by July 20. So the idea is to get him ready for school, we would have felt that way. But because we've already established like, Nope, that doesn't feel good for our family this year. We'll reevaluate next year. We're okay with making the decision to homeschool this year for both our kinder and our preschooler. So, I completely love that you guys are in that same space.
Yes. So talk to me about like establishing family rhythms for listeners that maybe have never sat down and thought through a family rhythm like where do you even start with trying to figure out what works for your family and stuff like that?
Yeah, great question. So I think the first thing that you would need to figure out and this is where like for us, we like sat, I remember a couple years ago, we sat down and really trying to figure out a rhythm and it just was not working. And it's because his my husband had like a certain idea in mind. And I had a certain idea in mind. And we were just trying to like force that rhythm on each other. Instead, we had to sit down and go, Okay, well, what are our priorities as a family, and what are our values as a family. And then from those two things, we can form a rhythm. And so starting with values and priorities. So for us, the biggest one is we want to be together, we want like to be together as much as possible, we want to be in our kids lives. And the other one is that we want to be present. And so the rhythm allows us to be fully present with our kids, when we're like schooling or when we're having time as a family. Or when we're at mealtimes, we're getting ready in the mornings. And then we're fully present when we're working, because that's on the rhythm. And that's when we're present there. And so, yeah, those are a couple of our values. But honestly, the best thing is to sit down and talk through you and your spouse or your partner and say like, Hey, what are our values? And what are our priorities? And so then based off of that, we can now come up with a really good, like flow of our day. Okay, well, we know that we want slow mornings that are we know that with kids, we likely are not even going to start working until probably 10 3011 o'clock. In all reality, we're not going to start working until that first nap time if you will. If your kids don't them, and if not been okay then our oldest he does quiet time. And that's the time that we sit down and start buckling into work. And again, it's like okay, we know we want to slow morning. We know we want every meal at the table. Okay? Then we need to plan that around having every meal at the table breakfast, lunch and dinner, we know that we want to do one, again, spending time intentionally together outside to be a value for you. Okay, then every single day, we know we want to get outside for an hour doesn't need to say at noon every day. But just knowing that that is a committee value helps you create that rhythm to step into, okay, this is what we want. This is what I like to feel like. And the other thing that we've implemented this year, going into this road trip, we're starting our kids are old enough to understand this. But we're starting to implement family teams. And so we're starting to come up with our values as a family team, what are our three core pillars as a family team, and then from that, how does our rhythm match into being a family team. So if you're gonna help with chores, as a family team, this is how that fits in in the morning, you unload the dishwasher, and you help with that. And then we reload it, like, those types of things really help us just form that rhythm easier.
Yeah, that's so good. And it's interesting to hear how like you, we have a similar like setup of our families. But our rhythms are different. Like for us, I work really well in the morning. And so like, I'm a morning person, after about noon, I'm worthless as like getting anything done for my business. And so I work best if I can work super hard and super focused from eight to noon, than the rest of the day, I take a nap every single day. That's like a value for me personally. And people think that's crazy. But I'm like, I know that when I'm the best version of myself, I take a nap or at least like sit down to rest for however long so my kids do quiet time. And while they do quiet time, I also have my own quiet time of I'm going to take a nap or watch a show or whatever. But I know that for me to be able to have the rest of the day super free and open that we can do literally whatever, that my husband steps in and takes the morning shifts so that I can be really focused because his best time of day is in the evenings or the afternoons and so when I'm like dead beat ready to take a nap, he's like just now ready to go and in his prime. So we like, you know, kind of figured out the flow for us of where we can be in the like best version of ourselves to be able to work on you know, our own thing when our minds are sharp and fresh and ready so that when he's in his prime for work, I'm in my prime for playtime, like let's go do something I'm not gonna be very productive, but we can go outside and we can, you know, play with Magna tiles or whatever. So it's just fascinating to me that like, and that's just how we are, we're all different people. So our rhythms, of course would be different in in, I think that's so important for people to remember of like, you know, your rhythm isn't going to look like my rhythm, somebody's listening, they're gonna have their own rhythm. And it's all about finding what works for your family based on the values based on all the different things and, you know, going forward.
Yeah, I love that you said that, because that's actually something that I talk a lot with my like friends here, in like my bio community here, if you will, like we all have very different rhythms. And I have friends that are fully alive in the morning. And I have friends that are fully alive at night and come out and like, like, they are like ready to go with work at like 8pm. And I'm like, oh my goodness, if I worked at 8pm, I'm going to be able to because I'm an Enneagram eight, and I can't start something without finishing it. So I'm not even giving myself that space. But the other part too, that we found is one of the reasons why we need slow mornings is because we know like one of our like family rhythms, if you will, is we always have like people over for dinner. Like it's just like our kids know, someone's usually in the house over to hang out with us for dinner, my husband and I are in full time ministry as well. And so a lot of that comes with like building community with your teams and the people that you're at church with and stuff. And so, for us, we're up till 1011 o'clock at night with people. And sometimes that includes our kids being up till nine 930 10. And they are sleepers. Like I'm so grateful for it, our kids are sleepers minus our one year old, he's in a phase right now getting up at like 5am. But that's that'll be that'll be that'll die soon, we'll be fine. But our kids are sleepers they like sleeping in. And so for us, it gives us the space to like, have a very slow morning and like we all get up and we like mosey down and we like have breakfast and it's just like not this type of sugar thing. But then I have a friend like you who is very, like, I have to get up at 6am and I need to work from like six to 10 and then after 10 I'm done. And I'm like that's I could not be that person, but I am cheering you on it and when you're texting at 6am Because you're alive and if so much talk about like I'm for you, I'm just not gonna respond to you until nine o'clock when I'm awake. But it's this ebb and flow of cheering each other on and whatever works best for each other. And knowing that like that is their prime then we just work together to like, if we're gonna get our families together, then I already know how she operates. And I know how I operate. And now it's easy for us to even mesh our two family rhythms together to support each other and not feel like we're so different. We can't ever be together. Does that make sense?
Oh, yeah, that's I think that's golden. And it's it's funny because once you throw kids in the mix, too, they have their own like prime times. So my kids wake up super early. We've tried to like I wish they would be sleepers and we've tried everything like maybe if we you know keep them up later at night. It doesn't matter what time they go to bed. They wake up at the same time every morning and it is no alarms They're just morning people. So literally by six 630, they're ready to go. And so it's just fascinating of, you know, adding them to the mix and seeing what works for everybody. But I love to talk a little bit about when rhythms have to shift. So like our family, we're in this season of like, trying to find the best rhythm in our new season of life. So we've been in Nashville for about a year and a half now. And for the first part of that we really struggled because we had zero childcare and zero family around. And so we're trying to figure out what works. Then we got a nanny for about eight months, which was incredible, found our rhythm really easily and like found what worked for getting work done and stuff. And my husband and I both went full time in our business at the same time. So it was like learning how to work with each other. Plus, there's kids home because we had both always worked full time. So our kids were a daycare. And so we're in this season, now we're again in, you know, a changing where our nanny ended up moving away. So now the kids are back home again, and, and we're shifting our rhythms again. And then both kids are going to be at the hybrid home school for three days a week. So once that hits in September, we're able to get back at like, actually find another rhythm. So I feel like in those in between seasons, like how do you guys navigate finding, you know that the new rhythm for the new season? And like, how long does that take, because I know for us, sometimes it takes months to find a rhythm that works and like, I feel like me and my husband had like a breakthrough, just this weekend, I can't tell you what it is. But something shifted. And all of a sudden, like, things are lining up. And like our rhythms and routines were like communicating really well together. And I think we're there like, I think we've been in it for months trying to find our flow and like, I don't want to jinx it. But I think we're here we found our flow. But like, what does that look like for you guys in like, different seasons?
Yeah, I think there's two like caveats to that one, there's like actual season to season so you look at it from the perspective of like, okay, in spring, we know that this is normally like a busier season more full season for our family because of things that we had going on at church or whatever. And again, even like looking at our fall and not being really busy. And then our Christmas kind of, you know, holiday season slows down. And as you look at the different seasons, the actual like seasons of life, the normal seasons of life, not things that you personally as like a family go through, but like a season of life. Yes, the four seasons. And you look at those and you like just again, sit at the top of the season and go, Okay, what are our values? What are our priorities? What worked last season? And what do we feel we need to change for this season? And what are ways that we can implement right away to try, like, what are things that we can try? And that's really been the most like consistent way of going from season to season for us, we ask those questions. So again, if you're writing it down, it's what worked in last season, or like, what are our values or priorities going into this next season? What worked in the last season, what didn't work and what are things that we can implement right away to try to get into a rhythm. And then being consistent with that for a few days, or you like a whole week before you change it up is like important like you can't just expect a rhythm to fall into place. After four days of trying it, you've got to try it for at least a week, right and see if it actually works. The other thing to keep in mind is when you are the other like season, if you will, is when you're transitioning from like one season to the next similar to you guys how you have were in that season right now. We just we are in our final week of being in full time ministry at our current location. And in a season of praying about what God has for us next and where he wants us to go. And like what ministry looks like in the future. And we in the last like two weeks have found ourselves settling into some really unhealthy rhythms of just like, almost like anxiety takes over and like you know, the season is coming to an end. So you just kind of tap out and like you're like I'm tired. I don't want to do it, you check out completely. And so we I totally get that I'm currently in that season. And again, when we leave for this road trip we're kicking it off with because we laid this weekend, what are our values? What worked in his last season? What didn't work in this last season? And what can we implement right away. And my husband is not a rhythm person. He is very like, oh, my gosh, He the Lord knew that he needed to marry me because I am so Enneagram eight that I'm like, Okay, we're sticking to this rhythm. And he's very like, Okay, I'm going with it. So it doesn't, it's not always as collaborative thing with him. And I he knows that I thrive in figuring this out, and he thrives and just going along with it. And so I'm really grateful for that. Because especially on a road trip where you're crossing time zones, states, you're seeing people you're staying in different people's houses, like you're doing all the things, you have to stay so flexible. And I would say that is the biggest thing when I go into a new season right to reset a rhythm is I'm staying incredibly flexible. I'm not getting frustrated with something that's not working. I'm reevaluating it constantly. And again, going back to those top questions and just like revisiting that almost every week, okay, what's working this week, what's not, and when my husband and I first got married, we and it was just us and we didn't have kids. We would sit down everything every Sunday and we would do like a like look at the week ahead and go okay, what do you need to do? What do you need to do and at that time, we were both working outside of the house. So then a lot of our rhythm was kind of that evening hour after your nine to five if you will, and we just had it On some conversations on Sundays being like, Okay, well these two nights we have people coming over this night, we have youth ministry, and this night we have something at church. Okay, so what are we doing on these nights? Do you want rest? What do you need. And then also, the last piece of that is staying in staying flexible is knowing that it is okay. If you get to a day and you need your rhythm to just not be, it's okay, if you're like, you know, let we're checking that out the window. And we're just gonna go and we need to have a lot of play today, we need to have a lot of fun today, we need to recharge through, you know, reading books today, or being in the house or actually taking care of our home, like just staying super flexible to what is needed on a day to day and not getting so focused on like, Okay, well, the rhythm says this, because again, if you do that you're actually setting a routine routine. Yep. You're not staying on track with your rhythm. And so to stay incredibly flexible, and in seasons of transition, I would say that is the most important thing. Because allowing your body and your mind and your family and your home and your space to just fall in line with what is necessary for you that day. You wake up what do I need today? Does my house see my attention to my kids need my attention? Has any my attention? Do I need my attention? What is needed right now in this transition season for me to actually show up tomorrow with a clear head? I love
that you said to that you guys like would sit down and look together to see like what does our week look like? Like where can the ebb and the flow go in the rhythm because that's something that is so practical. And we've never done that me and my husband and we sat down yesterday at the time this recording, it's Monday. But we sat down yesterday, Sunday night, for the first time ever, we've been married for seven years for the first time ever to sit down and like, okay, let's just like because I'm a planner, I'm very much like I like you know, I like to have know what I'm what I'm doing. Even if it's like kind of flexible in the schedule, I still like to know what's coming up. And he is he's an Enneagram one. So he's very much like, I'm a 3312. So we can kind of like butt heads sometimes in that. And so with our I like literally sat, like held on my planner, I said okay, here are the things like I need to work at these times, or I've got this meeting and stuff, what do you have going on? Oh, you're recording with so and so on this day, and you've got this stuff going on. So for the first time, we sat down and like looked at the whole week. And that was a game changer for us to say, okay, like this is and I would ask him because a lot of times I am like tend to be a bulldozer I just like go go hard. And just demolish everything in my path. And so for me to sit down and say, What do you need this week? Right? What time do you need to be down in the studio? That's how he recharges is he you know, he's an audio guy. So he's working on music and stuff. So I said, What when do you need studio time, let me write that in so that I know, when you need your studio time, I'm having playtime with the kids that that's going to be our rhythm that we may not know what time that's going to be. But in general, when I'm done working, then he has studio time and I'm playing with the kids and you know, shuffling things around. But it's so practical and seems so like obvious, but we just never did it before. And so that was a big game changer for us just in our rhythm knowing like, we can look at the bird's eye view of the week. And we don't have to do it for the whole quarter or the month or whatever, just just the week to see what needs to be done. What pieces can we do, because we're a team. And if we're not acting like a team, we're on separate playing fields, like that's where we're going to struggle. So that's a really, really great piece.
Yeah, we started doing that when we first got married. We got the navigators Council, which is now the weekly marriage journal by Jeremy and Audrey Roloff. And that was a game changer for our marriage, like every single Sunday night, we would sit down and do their they have the weekly questions. And now they're just a habit. And we don't have like a scheduled time. But it's like a constant check in and one of the questions in there is something that you said that was really good is like, what do you need this week? How can I serve you this week? And again, it's not sticking into a routine of like, okay, from 12 to two, you're golfing on Thursday, like, it's not that right. It's more like, like I my husband will say I need to go and get the car guy into like this week example. He needs to take the car and get an oil change and make sure the tires are rotated. So that for long, it's ready to go. And so I'm like, okay, great. I know that has to come in. And I know that's a way that's going to help, I'm taking the kids and that's going to serve us so that you could set us up for success on this road trip. Like if you have that in mind, again, going back to that team mentality that you just talked about. Like, if you have that in mind, and you walk into these conversations, walk into your day to day walk into your week to week. With that in mind, I think you're just gonna set your whole family up for success. And when the kids are old enough for you to sit down and even ask them that is going to be I cannot wait for that day, like our five year old is starting to get it and my three year olds like I just wanna play with unicorns and I'm like, okay, cool. Like, that's not gonna happen every day. But like when your kid gets to a place like you're already doing that, and they're around you in those conversations, I just cannot wait for the day that like our art like kids come to us and say, Hey, can we add this to the rhythm or can we can I do this? I really want to go and do this this week and we will have the flexibility for it. We won't panic. About a nine to five, we won't panic about needing to work certain hours or schooling for certain hours, we will have that flexibility already, like built in like our being that we'll be like, cool. Yeah, let's figure it out. Let's do it. Yeah. And that attitude is just so much better for a family anyway. Yeah. So, yeah,
yeah, we did that with our five year old this week, when we did after we like, set the rhythm of what our week was going to look like, I brought her in, and I said, Okay, let me just talk you through because she's not really at the place of like, let's throw this in. But I can say, let me talk you through the rhythm of our week, here's what Monday's gonna look like, you're gonna hang with daddy in the morning, while mommy's working, then an afternoon, we get to have playtime. And I'm just like, walking her through what each of the days are generally going to look like. And she was excited about it. She's like, Oh, and then I have dance class on Tuesday or whatever, that and we can go to the playground. And so it was cool to like, get her involved in that, that. She's like, like you were saying almost to the place where she can have more involvement, but not quite yet. So that'll be a fun season for sure to see, like, yeah, have their input, because they're like their little humans, they have brains of their own. So that's fun, for sure. And they need
rest to rest, they need recharge, Amy that too. And when they can speak into it, it just makes it so much like, like this road trip is going to be a really true test to like, see how our kids are really doing and like, I'm excited to learn what rest looks like for our kids. Because I know, rest for me is like I need 20 minutes of reading a book or 20 minutes of like quiet time and then I'm ready to go for the day with my husband's like, I need like an hour nap. And I need to go and like not be around people like he's such like, that's the introverted him and I'm very like, I just need 20 minutes of recharge, like getting a son for 20 minutes, I'm fine. And I'm excited to navigate that with our kids. And you're right, the more you include them in the rhythm, the more you see that natural, like rhythm come out in them and you figure them out. And then they now become part of the team and sinking into it. And it's just a just a really cool cycle. Like, I look back and I never we never had that in our family. And I think that's just because it was never a thing because like I look at my family that I grew up in and like my mom and dad, they worked normal jobs, they were gone. My mom even worked Midnight's sometimes so it just was like, we didn't have the ability to build a family rhythm that works for the whole family because mom and dad had time constraints on their work schedule. And I do want to say to that, if you are a working mom, and you are you are working, if you will, and you do have time constraints, that's okay, too. It's not a bad thing. I don't want this conversation to make it like oh, man, I can't work a nine to five, this doesn't work for me, it truly does. You do have a time constraint. But then if you're only working eight hours a day, you still have the rest of the day to figure out a rhythm. And you have the weekend to figure it out. Like it doesn't need to be a 24 hour rhythm, if you will, you just need to adapt that and figure it out for your own schedule and what that looks like and still implement again, those values and those priorities can be implemented outside of your nine to
five. Yes, for sure. I've been reading a book, the ruthless elimination of hurry. Oh, my gosh, I finished. It was transformational. Because it was reminding me that I'm paired with. There's a book called raising good humans or something like that. Yes, I know. So pairing the two together were ridiculously good, because it reminds me that the kids move at their own pace. And a lot of times I get in the mode of like, hurry, hurry, we gotta get here. And I remember I'm like why? I mean, we have our time constraint with them is school for my daughter, you know, from this time to this time. So we have to get him out the door. But why don't I just get them up a little earlier, get started moving so they can move at their pace, because kids are just slow. I had some friends in town, that they don't have kids and they were watching us like get ready to go out the door. And they watched me sit next to my son while he put he's three years old, while he put on his shoes. And I kid you not it took like seven minutes for him to get both of his shoes on. Because he just moves really slowly and he's putting the Velcro in and he's so like making sure he does it the right way in his mind. And I just sat there and watched him put on his shoe like a snail. And but that's the pace that he likes to move out. So who am I to sit there and tell him to hurry because if it were me and somebody were over my shoulder saying Hurry, hurry, we got to go Don't stress me out. And so I'm trying to like cultivate rhythms that, that breathe life into my family and are not anxiety like driving that I don't want to cause anxiety in my kids when it's unnecessary. If I can set a rhythm to help them move at their own pace and I'm trying to cultivate independence in my kids, I want them to put on their own shoes, I want them to you know get themselves into the car and and that takes time though. And so I'm having to like slow myself down to their pace so that we can all move in a way that is just life giving for them for everybody. And that's been challenging for me especially because I am that Enneagram three and I just want to go and get things done. So on you know if there's time that I have really focused work, then I know for myself, I can't have them right here next to me because I'm not going to get the things done that I need. And so that's where, you know, my husband comes into play or you know, hiring, childcare doing something so that I can be in my zone of genius for you know, that set amount of time, then I can step back and be a great mom to my kids and watch them put on their shoes for seven minutes. Yeah,
absolutely. And I want to say to like, as we were talking about that, I was thinking back to the days where I couldn't necessarily bring in childcare, like it just wasn't like an option financially for us. And if you are listening, and that is you, like kind of what Rebecca talked about the beginning of being like, she like thrives in the morning, and then I thrive at night, typically, not anymore in this season of life. Like if that is you find a way for you to get up like two hours earlier, like whenever you need to do or be okay with staying up later, after the kids go to bed and getting two to three hours of work done. That is what I used to do. And that was the rhythm that work for me because I am so much like you I'm an integral eight and we tend to bulldoze over people as well. And when I'm in the work mode, I turn into a bear if I'm bothered, like it is the worst quality that I have. If I like I'm being honest, I get the worst part. Like if I if they walk in I like don't even hear them because I'm so focused. And then the mom guilt comes and the shame comes like all of that comes and then I make them feel bad for being a child and like meeting their mom and I'm over here like nope, I can work Leave me alone, I'm in my I'm in my zone. And again, like, if you just find like, Okay, I don't have time to bring it. I don't have finances to bring in someone to watch the kids or host family live close by that can help me out or whatever. Then set a different rhythm for yourself get up earlier. Mamba mentality by Kobe Bryant is one of my husband's like, favorite books, and it's on our coffee table. And in it, he actually talks about how he would get up at three or 4am, I think it was we'd get up super early in the morning, go to the gym. And then he would be home in time for breakfast at six o'clock with his family. And then he always had to do to Jim cycles a day. And his other gym cycle was at 10 3011 o'clock at night. And he's like he said he was I did this because I refuse to sacrifice my family's time. It's just like, I can't sacrifice it. So I'd rather sacrifice my own time. And I love that because that's a mentality that I feel like we should be implementing so much more as parents and we just don't like we, again, as an agreement, I'm so guilty of this I set this time remember, like my my best work hours are also in the morning. I like thrive from like 930 ish until about two ish. And then I'm done. I'm like dead to the world like you. I just can't be like functioning. But that sometimes does not work with my kids schedules because I needed or again, back to the days where I couldn't bring in a childcare or my husband wasn't home with me. Like, I would have to just adjust and be okay with it. And utilize my Saturdays when my husband was home or utilize my Sunday is when my husband was home. Like, I just had to get really creative with it. And so if you are listening, and that is not an option for you to like, take those slower mornings, and you don't have like, the like the finances to bring someone in your house. It's totally okay. Just look at your day and go okay, what do I have on the calendar? What needs to get done? What are my time, like limits that are most like feasible for me to work? And then just kind of build a rhythm out of that? Yeah, and be okay with that, too. Yeah, you don't have to look like everybody else online. You know,
exactly. I have so many friends. I have one friend specifically that she wakes up at 5am every day for that reason, because she wants to get work done before her kids wake up. And it works beautifully for her. And I'm like, I love that, that she's able to, you know, set that time aside. I tried doing that. And it made me a worse mom, because then I was more tired. And I was like, okay, that just doesn't work for me. And so I'm like, that's, that's where it's like, find what works for you. But you don't know unless you try it. And so like, I think my biggest thing for this is I would love people to take away one thing like pick one thing that we talked about Super practically that they can try and implement in their family and, you know, do it for a few days, see how it goes and then go from there. That it's it's just it's trial and error. I feel like for finding the best routine and it's going to take time. And you know for us that takes months but eventually you do you find a place where things just kind of click and you're like, Okay, this is it. Like this is the rhythm that works for us. And it's a beautiful feeling when you when you get there. Yeah. So good.
Yeah, I would say try things and communicate. That's the biggest piece I would say for my husband and I and until we started doing those weekly check ins or even daily sometimes now like sometimes like this last season as he's wrapping up his time at our current, you know, place in ministry. It's been a lot of like, okay, well today I actually do need to get this done and like now I have this on my plate or I'm Pastor on call today like it's being willing to stay flexible even the day to day but again, you have to try something and you need to communicate about it. Yeah, because it's not just you. It's not district kids. It's you your kids and your partner. And so you've got to like just communicate and it's the hardest thing honest to goodness it is the hardest thing because the way A that we all communicate is very different. And I think sometimes that can lead to a lot of disagreements and arguments and fights that we talk about all the time. You know, like that becomes like such a, it could be kind of pain point. But it doesn't have to be, it's going to be uncomfortable at the start as you figure it out. And yes, you may argue a bit more at the beginning. But then once you figured it out, and you try things, you know what works, you know, what doesn't work, and then you've communicated about it, you're gonna be fine, and you're gonna figure it out. And then when the next season comes, the things that didn't work in that currency that previous season might not work in that current season. And so again, trial and error, but communicate about it.
So good. I love it. I feel like I could talk about this like, literally all day, but it's, I mean, such a great topic. So if you can leave our people with like one really practical thing, they can try this later this week, like we talked about doing the schedule thing, what's like maybe one other really practical thing that if they want to try finding a family rhythm for the first time, what would that like one thing be?
Yeah, I would say like, sit down and write out a flow. Even like, if you look at the five, look at five days, don't do seven, do five do Monday through Friday, leave Saturdays and Sundays is like the family, we're together. And there's no scheduled day. But like Monday through Friday, again, I think the first thing that to go back, the one thing to do is to sit down and talk about those values and those priorities. But once you have those, I think the best thing to do is kind of sit and look at those five days and come up with five potential rhythms that can work. And even if it's two different ones that you're rotating between each day, just try them this week. Like that's the biggest thing that like it, you have to try it like just try try a rhythm tomorrow. And if that works, build on that rhythm the next day. And then if that works, build on that rhythm the next day. And so look at your week and go okay, what can I try this week, and just go for it. And don't be afraid if it's frustrating, or if it's hard if it feels uncomfortable, like just try it.
And if it doesn't work, you have a new day, the next day. That's that was like in our like season we're just coming out of I like lived off that where if if we had a bad day, and the rhythm didn't work, I would say you know what, we get a fresh start tomorrow, we'll put the kids to bed, we will try again tomorrow and change something we're not getting don't do the same thing. If it didn't work, change it and try something new. So good. Well, this was super helpful. Like, I'm gonna re listen to this for myself and implement some new things. But if people wanted to find you learn more about you, where can they find you or reach out to chat more?
Yeah, so our Instagram is the best place or website, but it's at pivot media CO on Instagram, or could it be a co.com on the website. And so I hang out there, my team hangs out there. We're constantly talking about rhythms, routines, and like rest and all the things. And we talk a lot about books. And we talk a lot about PR and podcasts about a lot of things. So if you're interested in anything and just having other business, you know, women to kind of connect with and collaborate with like, definitely come and check us out over there.
Awesome. And we'll link all that in the show notes for you guys to go check them out easily. Ashley, this was awesome. Thank you so much for taking the time just to pour into my people. And I know that this is going to be helpful for them. I'm excited to have the conversation. Continue in DMS and whatever. So this is great. Thanks for for tuning for joining with us today.
Yeah, thank you so much for having me.
All right, guys. We will go ahead and wrap up for today and we'll see you back this time next week.
